WWHL with Joan Rivers & Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Andy welcomes his guests and is already laughing. He's in a really good mood when Joan is on the show.
Plug Alert: Joan Rivers book Diary of a Mad Diva is out now.
Maksim Chmerkovskiy announced on the View earlier today he's done with Dancing with the stars.😱
It's National Lasagna day so it's only fitting that the bartender be the General Manager at Tommy Lasagna, Warren Krieg.
Drinking Game word: That
If you played along how's your hangover today? 😁
Joan had a rotten day. She had to put her dog down. RIP Joan's pup.
Also, Melissa brought home a black man last night and Joan was still upset Melissa didn't bring one home for her.
Despite Joan's bad day she killed it on the show.
Naturally Andy asked the queen of fashion to weigh in on her best dressed #RHONY reunion outfit. Joan thought they all looked like a bunch or whores. 😂
Joan did love Aviva's shoes. Andy declared Aviva's shoes the best in a clip on Bravotv.com. Andy and Joan agree. 👏 Is Andy a Fashion Queen? This Fan thinks so.
Maksim was in the Ukraine version of the bachelor. He didn't kiss or do anything with the girls on that show.
Poll Question: Who's side are you on LuAnn or Sonja? #RHONY
1) Andy gives us a Sneak peek of next weeks #RHONY reunion where LuAnn & Ramona go at it.
2) Andy plays a game with Maksim called Ballroom Glancing where Maksim tries to guess his former DWTS cast members by looking at photos of their crotches. Maksim gets 2 wrong and 2 right. 50/50 ain't half bad. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
3) Andy puts Joan's plastic surgery expertise to the test in a little game called Rate that Face!
Bruce Jenner - He's great he's got 6 kids a gold medal and now a vagina! 😂 (Funny because it's true!)
Lil Kim - Ugliest face she's ever seen, wishes Chris Brown would punch her in the face so she can redo it. 😳
Laytoya Jackson - doctors have given her everything except Talent! (Also funny because it's true)😂
Janice Dickenson - Joan doesn't understand her, just grow old gracefully. (Um Joan look in the mirror my dear.) 😂
Joan is not a good dancer and would never appear on DWTS.
Maksim doesn't reveal anything about his rumored relationship with JLo.
Maksim's problem with DWTS is we're running out of legitimate celebrities to dance.
Joan gets her Botox directly from the cow. 😂
Kristen Taekman's Delusional comment is the Gif of the night.
Plug Alert: Buy Joan's book, Diary of a Mad Diva.
Joan makes some hysterical Hellen Keller jokes.
Joan was asked if she would be taking over Chelese Handlers show. #ShadeAlert Joan's Reply Who? Andy hasn't heard of her either. (Oh boy she really was a pill when she was on WWHL if you remember that. I like to forget that.)
Caller question revealed the rudest celebrity Joan ever encountered on the red carpet was Tommy Lee Jones!
Fashion Polite. Can Joan and Maksim say anything polite about the aweful outfits Andy shows them? They tried ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Plug Alert: Joan and Maksim both get Mazel Cocktail shakers for playing, available at Shop by Bravo.
A few of my twitter friends and I triple dog dared Andy to ask Maksim to take his shirt off and do a little Dance. Andy complied, however Maksim wouldn't fulfill our requests to take his shirt off and dance. He said look it up on youtube. Damn It.😡
Mazel of the day:
Goes to 5 year old Sadie's viral video that she and her baby brother are going to grow up some day. She doesn't want to grow up, she's so cute.
Jackhole: Justin Bieber for reportedly making Orlando Bloom take a swing at him at a Resturant. According to TMZ
Poll Question results:
LuAnn wins with 76% of your votes!
Plug Alert: buy Joan's Book Diary of a Mad Diva, check out Maksim's dance tour and eat at Tommy Lasagna.
Drinking game word said 34 times!
How you doing?
No Drinking and driving, EVER!
Plug Alert: buy Joan River's Book Diary of a Mad Diva. See Maksim Chmerkovskiy in his Ballroom with a twist tour, go to ticket master for more info. Warren (the bartender) check him out at Tommy Lasagna's in Gramercy Park.
Joan just came back from a grandma week with her grandson in Rome.
Andy takes a caller's question for Joan. When was the last time Joan smoked weed? She did it on her show with her daughter Melissa. She doesn't do it often because Joan likes to stay in control.
Maksim has never fought with his brother over the same girl, there is a six year difference between them he points out. Maksim says they have different types for their choice in women.
Maksim doesn't have a type, his brother does.
Joan says Tommy Lee Jones has the worst shoes. She really has it in for Tommy.
Maksim reveals Derek Hough has a nervous twitch & rubs his bottom of his shirt.(Derek Hough will be on WWHL next week)
Joan had the best sex with Robert Mitchell, she was telling the truth all jokes aside.
Andy asked Joan to remember one of her jokes from the good old days.
"If God wanted me to cook my hands would be aluminum." In 1968 it was a killer joke. Today, um not so much.
Another one "my husband came home and I wanted to be sexy. So I wrapped myself in Saran Wrap and he said Leftovers Again!" Joan said that was a bad joke to tell on tv. (I had a Vicki G. Quarter sized moment laughing at that joke.)
Joan's only regrettable joke was about willie Nelson being so dirty. She got a note from his daughter that said the kids in school were making fun of her for that joke. The next day the joke was taken out of her act.
The most important thing Joan learned from Johnny Carson was to listen. He appreciated a good laugh.
Andy asked Joan if she ever did Conan O'brien. Joan said she never did Conan O'brien's late night talk show because he was apart of the group that would never use her. (Leno) And she threw in a Huge Fuck you Conan O'brien that slipped thru the sensors. When you see it on Bravotv's website it will most likely be bleeped out, but you'll see the finger gesture.
Another caller has a question of Maksim. Kirstie Alley Did try to convert him. No was his reply. They no longer get along. He pretty much said that they no longer speak because Kirstie disapproves of his friendship with Leah Remini.
(That's Scientology for you, was Leno a member when it came to him shutting out Joan? Now it's all starting to make sense.)
Plug alert: buy Joan's book & see Maksim in his show thru August.
Joan would go back on Cnn after she walked off an interview with a bad reporter.
Plug alert: Check out Maksim's show and go to Tommy Lasagnas in Gramercy park.
Andy wishes all a good night and with that we fade to black.
This WWHL was brilliant. I was laughing the entire night right along side Andy. My recap can't possibly do it justice. Go to bravotv.com and watch some clips. It's a guaranteed good laugh.
Wednesday and Thursdays WWHL have already been filmed.
So don't bother tweeting questions today but do watch them.
Tonight Zach Braff & Kate Hudson join Andy in the clubhouse.
This feels like #WWHL Comedy week
Also Check out @jordielizabeth's Aviva talking leg youtube video on WWHL's youtube page. It's LEG-endary.
If you like this blog please RT it, if you don't please RT it anyway and tag @realityjulie not @LauraRHONC. It was her idea I do this.