Andy Cohen welcomes Sandra Bernhard & Brandi Glanville to the Watch What Happens Live Clubhouse.
Bartenders: Prince William and Princess Kate aka, The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge Cardboard cut out.
Drinking Game Alert: LISA
Andy is in love with Brandy's new I dream of Jeannie interview look. What do you think?
Brandi says that was her Ariana Grande look, dedicated to her two young boys. (I guess her two young boys enjoy seeing their mothers boobs falling out of her shirt)😁
Andy once was brutally honest with Brandi & told her she overdid it with the fillers. Andy felt Brandi's cheekbones previously and said he was wrong there was no filler. Brandi then made Sandra feel her cheekbones to prove there were no fillers. Brandi also said there's no implants in her face. However there's implants in her breasts and her vagina has been tightened.
Andy says in Brandi's world everybody has a new best friend on #RHOBH. Andy plays a clip as evidence. That brings us to the Poll Question:
1) Andy reminds Brandi of when 3 other housewives were recently on #WWHL and played a game called Hot-Po-Titties where they were supposed to pass around a breast implant and say nice things about Brandi. Instead significant shade was thrown in her direction. Andy asked Brandi to respond to all the shade.
Brandi has no response, she has more friends than probably all of them put together. Brandi thinks they're all desperate for their job back. (Shade wars WWHL style)
2) In honor of Sandra Bernhard's new performance #Blessed Andy plays a game with Sandra called Too #Blessed to be Stressed.
AC: What do you do if you're told to be more family-friendly on your podcast?
SB: She just goes for it because she needs the money. She'll do whatever takes her in the direction of the cash.
AC: What about if your daughter gets a DUI?
SB: She doesn't drive. She's in New York girl.
AC: What do you do if your implants wind up being way bigger than you intended?
SB: They did! 😂
BG: Brandi feels Sandra's breast and says they're good and gives them a thumbs up.
AC: What would you do if your significant other made out with another person? What would you do?
SB: That would be the end of her world.
3) Andy Breaks out the classic Game Dwheel Breakers!
Andy spins the Dwheel & asks The ladies a question and if it's a Dwheel breaker.
AC: Bad breath?
SB: Dwheel Breaker
BG: Dwheel Breaker
AC: Uni-ball? If you're dating a guy with one testicle?
SB: No big dea
AC: Says I love you too fast?
SB: No big deal, lesbians always do.
BG: Yes, it's a deal breaker.
AC: Doesn't find it funny?
SB: Sometimes it works for her because it's a bit of a challenge.
BG: Dwheel Breaker
AC: Missing teeth?
SB: Sure that could work, if he just got out of the boxing ring.
BG: Sure, he could be a hockey player. Her dad had missing teeth.
AC: Cheated before?
SB: Dwheel Breaker
BG: Who hasn't cheated before? (Lots of wholesome people Brandi, perhaps you need to look elsewhere for men & reevaluate your standards.)
Desmond from California called to ask Brandi what her issues are with Kenya Moore? Because she has called her a whore before and has Twitter battles with her.
Brandi, "My issues with Kenya is we just completed the "Celebrity Apprentice" together and she's a WHOREible, WHOREible human being."
Sandra is concerned by Brandi's behavior and asks her why she continues to put herself in situations like this?
Brandi says, "To make money."
Sandra asks do you?
Brandi insists she does, now,
Sandra just hopes that Brandi can work her way out of them because it's time for this to end. Why bother spending your time on Twitter fighting with people?
Brandi retorts by saying, "I don't really fight with her on Twitter, I just say what I want to say. It's everyone else who fights with each other."
Sandra thinks it's bad energy. She asks Brandi "don't you want to be happy?"
Brandi says she is happy. It doesn't affect her. (It doesn't affect you then why respond?)
GIF of the Night:
Check out Sandra in Sandra Bernhard is #Blessed at Joes pub 12/26 thru New Years! Also you probably want to use Brandi's new app called blonder block.
Rachel Dratch tweeted....
Sandra loves Rachel, she's so sweet.
@fshwyf tweeted in this question for Brandi.....
Brandi responded by saying, "I can understand that 100%. It's a lease. It's a six-figure car but I only put $3,000 down and I'm paying what I can till I can't afford it."
Michael from Pennsylvania called to ask Sandra if she's going to be on David Letterman's show next year before he retires?
Sandra sadly says I don't think so. Unless someone brokers a deal and gets her back into David's good graces. She doesn't know how she fell out of them.
Andy hopes David has Sandra back. Brandi says if he doesn't David is going to Hell.
Alyssa called in from the Bronx and asked Brandi if she has dentures?
Brandi says they are her real teeth and shows them off to everyone. She admits she has good teeth.
Brandi had a surgical burn on her face from laser hair removal on. One whole side of her face stopped moving. She needs a blue thing that says she can park anywhere. (It's called a handicap sign and it's for people with handicaps. Laser burn from hair removal does not qualify as being handicap, it just qualifies as being overdone.)
Sandra says that Brandi is blonde what hair was she having lasered off?
Brandi informs Sandra she'll show her and her girlfriend later that she's not a real blonde.
Andy Plays never have I ever with the ladies. If they have ever done what Andy asked they must take a sip of their cocktail.
AC: Never have I ever been part of an orgy or a key party.
SB: Never 👼 #Blessed
AC: Never have I ever done a little blow in the bathroom.
SB: Never 👼 #Blessed Not a grain of cocaine has ever passed Sandra's nose.
AC: Never have I ever had sex on a private jet.
SB: 🍷 Not on a jet, but on MGM grand. That counts.
BG: 🍷 (Brandi should stop putting her drink down because her arm is going to get real tired playing this game.)
AC: Never have I ever had sex with a professional athlete.
SB: Never 👼 #Blessed
AC: Never have I ever been given a gift that's worth over $500,000.
SB: Never 👼 #Blessed
BG: Never (she's not worth that much.)
AC: Never have I ever taken a shot off of models body.
SB: Never 👼 #Blessed but still takes a sip. 🍷
For playing along Sandra and Brandi win special achievement in blessedness dreidels.
Wacha joined everyone for the last segment.
Lisa Rinna tweeted....
Sandra so Lisa up at Shoe in the Beverly Hills.
Brandi is pissed she didn't get a hello.
Kate sending a question from Facebook asking what Brandi thought of Leanne Rimes Christmas special hippopotamus song?
Brandi didn't see it the only thing she saw was when she was watching #WWHL she saw Andy name her as the JackHole. Brandi thought yep she's kind of a JackHole.
Joey from Texas asked Sandra what she thought about Jerry Lewis's comments about female comedians?
Sandra says he's from her father's generation. A woman like her comes along and it's just too much for them. You can't take it seriously. He was a little insulting towards Sandra when they were filming a movie together.
Mazel of the Day: Goes to controversial Abercrombie & Fitch CEO, Mike Jeffries. Who announced today that he'll be stepping down. After years of selling clothes to people with abs. Jeffries is going to devote more time to making his face look insane.
Jackhole of the Day: Due to all the rain in NYC it goes to White chicks on the subway for violently pushing Andy out of their way. Andy's ribs and toes are black and blue from all the white ladies rage that filled the New York subway system today.
Drinking Game: LISA wasn't said that much, if you were drinking, no driving.
Sandra shows off her perfect teeth.
Check out Sandra in Sandra Bernhard is #Blessed at Joes pub 12/26 thru New Years!
Christina from Chicago called to ask Brandi why is she so hell bent on repairing her relationship with Lisa Vanderpump?
Brandi is not so hell bent on repairing their relationship, she cares about Lisa and loves her. It may sound weird but when Brandi came to LA after her divorce Lisa became her family. When the relationship went south it broke her heart. She can't take criticism.
And he asks if she regrets her role in the relationship going south?
Brandi says no because she feels like she's so perfect all the time. Lisa knows she loves her so much. Nobody's perfect. Brandi wants what she can't have, a friendship with Lisa.
Cory from Minnesota called to ask Andy to please bring back Danielle Staub to #RHONJ & to ask Brandi what her thoughts were on Kyle's recent statements about never forgive or be friends again with Brandi?
No answer from Andy about Danielle.
Brandi said "Kyle can Fucking suck it! Kyle is the first person to stab you in the back. She stabs everyone in the back. At first she wasn't friends with Camille, then she wasn't friends with her, then she wasn't friends with her own sister, and then Yolanda, and then Carlton, and then Lisa Vanderpump. For her to say she can't forgive me when everyone else has forgiven her, she needs to check herself."
Brandi says Andy's JackHole was not misogynistic in anyway. "Internet trolls be gone!"
Sandra give a great live performance and doesn't get any negative feedback from her live shows because she treats her audience really well. They come to see her perform and she gives total love her audience.
Brandi puts her foot in her mouth and says "I feel a new New York housewife coming on. We need a lesbian and she has to be funny."
Sandra says, "I am not a lesbian, I don't classify myself that way." Brandi says she's a lesbian.
Sandra transcends sexuality. Who cares?
Sandra tries to deflect from the uncomfortable conversation and goes back to Andy's original question. Brandi rudely busts out laughing.
And he asks Sandra if she would do her live show on TV.
Sandra says it would be a shit show.
That's what Andy means, Brandi does a very very uncensored podcast and she says a lot of stuff that because of Twitter causes her a lot of trouble.
Sandra says there's no winning out there. It's not a conversation you can't see these people. We are not sitting across from somebody at a dining table. These are people that are out in the world frustrated and angry. They are just trying to reach into your world and tear you apart. It's best not to engage.
(You could see Brandi apologizing to Sandra while the next caller was speaking)
Sarah called from Florida to ask Sandra when she was an actress on the hit show Roseanne who was the hardest to get along with from her cast mates and who was the kindest?
Sandra got along with the entire cast. Everybody on the show was so talented, professional and they all had a ball. It was one of the premier experiences of her career.
Melissa from Missouri called to ask Brandi after she apologized to Adrian has Adrian reached out have they hung out together? How does Brandi feel it's going to go?
Brandi says, she apologized for her part. She doesn't take full responsibility for anything. She is sorry for what she said. If you cut to her boys or her family, she will murder you. Having said that, when she does see Adrian they do say hello.
Lee from Long Island called to ask Sandra would you do Playboy again?
Sandra says no that was a one-shot deal for her. It was a long time ago. It's not because she's not happy with her body it's because she has a teenage daughter now and that just would not fly. She couldn't do that to her.
Janice called from Fort Lauderdale Florida to ask Brandi how tall she is?
Brandi is 5 foot 10.
Janice then asked Brandi if she's had anything done because she looks a little fuller on top?
Brandi said she's had her boobs done, but they are seven years old. They are 34 B's.
And with that Andy bids us a good night.
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